Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your
birthday.
The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell
us
what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy, and what
you
watch on television.

Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your
job
title, people will have you all figured out...

CONSULTANT/CONTRACTOR: Independent-minded, and unique of wit. You
are a
loser. Goddamn mercenaries like you who can't hold a steady job
shouldn't be allowed to roam the earth. Everyone laughs at you
behind
your back.

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing
degree to
avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on
drinking and
socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities
are
now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing
without a
degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone
calls
you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact
with
customers so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek
admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you
are
instead content to completely control everything that happens at
your
work place. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying,
but who
the heck can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit
the
Earth.

ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in
school, it
is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by
engineers.
You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of
all the
latest "ergo dynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is
really
causing your "carpal tunnel..."

ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are
mostly
immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in
the
organization. Combined with your extreme organizational traits,
the
majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely
insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the
organization.
Possibly the only other person that does less work than
marketing, you
are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a
haircut,
have lunch, AND mail a letter!

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS": Catty,
cutthroat,
yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your
current job
for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision, you
tend to
measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for
yourself. Best suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as
everyone in
your social circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cutthroat, yet completely spineless,
you are
destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life.
Unable
to make a single decision, you tend to measure your worth by the
number
of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry
other
"Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior
Manager."

CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent
cab
ride from taking your own life. As a child, very few of you asked
your
parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you
could
pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for
promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.