1 In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and
        drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an
      18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys

        2 In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who
"totally zoned when he ran," according to his wife,  accidentally  jogged
off a 200-foot-high cliff on his daily run.

        3 Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he
      had dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beachgoers
        said Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from
 the wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom
        Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5
 feet    of sand. People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their
        hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a
 resident of   Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him.. It took rescue
workers
        using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about
 200    people looked on.. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

        4 In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA,
        as he fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he
 was    burgling. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had
        placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the
 base  of his skull as he hit the floor.

        5 According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick
        Berrena, 20, was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet
        Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who was trying to prove that a knife could
      not penetrate the flakvest Berrena was wearing.

        6 Sylvester Briddell, Jr , 26, was killed in February in
Selbyville,  Del ,
         as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a  revolver
loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the  trigger.

        7 In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont , Daniel
        Kolta,27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision,
 thus earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their
      snowmobiles.

        8 In September, a 7-year-old boy fell off a 100-foot-high bluff
 near    Ozark, Ark, after he lost his grip swinging on a cross that
 marked    the spot where another person had fallen to his death in 1990.
        DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS

        1) In Guthrie, Okla , in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a
      millipede  with a shot from his 22-caliber rifle, but the bullet
ricocheted off
      = a rock near the hole and hit pal Antonio Martinez in the head,
      fracturing his skull.
        2) In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to
 clean out  cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of
 a  propane torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second
      floors of his house.

        3) Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ,
 in September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a
        quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in their car . While
 driving    around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite and tried to
        toss it out the window to see what would happen, but they
      apparently failed to notice that the window was closed.

        4) Taking "Amateur Night" Too Far: In Betulia, Colombia, an
 annual    festival in November includes five days of amateur
        bullfighting. This year, no bull was killed, but dozens of
 matadors  were injured, including one gored in the head and one
 Bobbittized.
      Said one participant, "It's just one bull against [a town of] a
        thousand Morons."

        SOME MORE ALSO RANS

        1) Four people were injured in a string of related bizarre
      accidents.   Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused
 by  flying  masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash
 and  contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran
        suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick's first two
 fingers of     her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just
dropped her
        husband off for his first day of work and, in addition to a
        good-bye kiss, she flashed her breasts at him. "I'm still not
 sure    why I did it," she said later "I was really close to the car, so
 I   didn't think anyone would see Besides, it couldn't have been for
        more than two seconds ". However, cab driver Vegas did see and
        lost control of his cab, running over the curb and into the
 corner  of the Johnson Medical Building.  Inside, Klesick, a dental
        technician, was cleaning Corcoran's teeth. The crash of the cab
      against the building making her jump, tearing Corcoran's
        gums with a cleaning pick.. In shock, he bit down, severing two
      fingers from Klesick's hand. Moeller's wound was caused by a
        falling piece of the medical building.
        2) TAOS, NM -A woman went to a poison control center after
        eating three birth-control vaginal inserts. Her English was so
 bad  she had to draw a picture describing how she believed she had
        poisoned herself. A translator arrived shortly thereafter and
      confirmed doctors' suspicions. Marie  Valishnokov thought the
        inserts were some kind of candy or gum, being unable to read
 the   foil wrappers. After the third one, she realized something was
        wrong when her throat and mouth began to fill with a
 sour-tasting   foam. She ran for the Poison Control Center, only a few
blocks
        away where doctors were able to flush the foam from her mouth,
      throat and stomach with no ill effects.

        3) La Grange, GA -Attorney Antonio Mendoza was released from
        a trauma center after having a cell phone removed from his
 rectum.     "My dog drags the thing all over the house," he said later.
"He
        must have dragged it into the shower. I slipped on the tile,
 tripped   against the dog and sat down right on the thing " The
 extraction
        took more than three hours due to the fact that the cover to Mr
      Mendoza's phone had opened during insertion. "He was a real
        trooper during the entire episode," said Dr Dennis Crobe. "Tony
        just cracked jokes and really seemed to be enjoying himself
 Three   times during the extraction his phone rang and each time, he made
        jokes about it that just had us rolling on the floor. By the
 time we  finished, we really did expect to find an answering machine in
        there".

        4) TACOMA, WA -Kerry Bingham, had been drinking with
        several friends when one of them said they knew a person who
 had   bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the
        middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at
 least  10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon
        arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no
 one  had brought bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking,
        volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay
      nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg
        and the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40
 feet  before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He
      miraculously survived his fall into the icy river water and was
        rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said Bingham,
      "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just
 no    other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
        5) BREMERTON, WA - Christopher Coulter and his wife, Emily,
 were    engaging in bondage games when Christopher suggested
        spreading peanut butter on his genitals and letting Rudy, their
        Irish Setter, lick them clean. Sadly, Rudy lost control and
 began   tearing at Christopher's penis and testicles. Rudy refused to
 obey  commands and a panicked Emily threw a half-gallon bottle of
        perfume at the dog. The bottle broke, covering the dog and
        Christopher with perfume. Startled, Rudy leaped back, tearing
 away    the penis. While trying to get her unconscious husband in
        the car to take him to the hospital, Emily fell twice, injuring
 her  wrist and ankle. Christopher's penis was in a styrofoam ice
 cooler "Chris is just plain lucky," said the surgeon who spent eight
        hours reattaching the penis. "Believe it or not, the perfume
 turned  out to be very fortuitous. The high alcohol content, which must
        have been excruciatingly painful, helped sterilize the wound.
      Also, aside from its being removed, the damage caused by the
        dog's teeth to the penis per se is minimal It's really a very
      stringy   piece of flesh. Mr Coulter stands an excellent chance
 of   regaining   the use of his limb because of this." Washington Animal
Control
      has no plans to seize Rudy