* What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
  Doug

* What do you call a man with out a shovel in his head?
  Dougless

* What do you call a lady with a toothpick in her head?
  Olive

* What do you call a lady with one wooden leg?
  Peg

* What do you call a lady with one leg longer than the other?
  Eileen

* What do you call a Japanese lady with one leg longer than the other?
  Ireen

* What do you call a lady with both legs the same length?
  Nolene

* What do you call an epileptic in a pile of leaves?
  Russell

* What do you call a man with a wooden head?
  Edward

* What do you call a man with three wooden heads?
  Edward Woodward

* What do you call a man with four wooden heads?
  I don't know, but Edward Woodward would

* What do you call a man with a rabbit up his butt?
  Warren

* What do you call a man with his legs chopped off at the knees?
  Neil

* What do you call a man who is being electrocuted?
  Buzz

* What do you call a man who sits at your front door?
  Matt

* What do you call a man who has his head stuck under your car?
  Jack

* What do you call a man who has no arms and legs who is nailed to the
   wall?
  Art

* What do you call the arms and legs of the above mentioned man?
  Pieces of Art

* What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the ocean?
  Bob

* What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a ditch?
  Phil

* What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a mailbox?
  Bill

* What do you call a lady who is the stand-in for Polly in Fawlty Towers?
  Polly - filler

* What do you call a whole bunch of dead bald smokers floating over the ocean 
at Christmas?
  Yule-tide

* What do you call a man with toilet paper in his mouth?
  John

* What do you call a man who has been buried for 2,000 years?
  Pete

* What do you call a dog with no legs?
  It doesn't matter what you call him - he still won't come

* What do you call a deer with no eyes?
  No idea

* What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
  Still no idea

* What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs who is chewing a  razor?
  Still bloody no idea