While waiting at a bus stop for a bus, a woman stepped onto a weight
machine that told your fortune and weight for a quarter. She put a quarter
in, and out came a card that read, "Your age is 32, You weigh 135 lbs., and
you play the fiddle."
 
She found the fortune amusing, since she didn't play the fiddle, but it did
have her age correct. About that time, an old gentleman walked up carrying
a fiddle. She asked him if she could see his fiddle. He agreed, and to
their amazement, she started playing the fiddle with great natural skill.
 
She wondered if the fortune machine had actually known something about her
that she didn't. She thought about it, and decided to try the weight
machine again. She put another quarter in the machine, and out comes the
card that reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you have
gastritis."
 
She found this one to be absurd, as she was in perfect health, so she goes
back to the bus-stop to wait for her bus. While sitting there, she develops
abdominal pains that continue to get worse until all of a sudden she farts.
She wondered about the fortune, and again was curious if the machine was
capable of knowing stuff about her that she didn't know.
 
She puts another quarter in the machine, and out comes a card that reads:
"Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you are about to have sex." She
laughed out loud, as she had been trying to find a decent guy to screw for
weeks, with no luck.
 
She is sitting there waiting for the bus, when this attractive young man
sits down and immediately their eyes locked, and they both knew that they
were right for each other. They quickly ducked down an alley and began to
screw like two teenagers.
 
The woman was so simply amazed at the ability of the machine, that she had
to try it one more time. She stood on the machine, put her last quarter in,
and out came a card that read: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., You've
Fiddled, You've Farted, You've Screwed around, and now you've missed your
bus.