Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit
a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that 
you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

---

 Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind 
in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.  The second 
one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

---

 A  three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.  He
sidles up to the bar and announces, "I'm looking for the man 
who shot my paw."

---
 This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while
in his home town for the holidays.  After looking over the menu he 
says, "I'll just have the eggs benedict."  His order comes a while 
later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap.  He asks the waiter, 
"What's with the hubcap?" The waiter sings, "There's no plate like 
chrome for the hollandaise!"

---

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.  
One says to the other, "Are you all right?"  
"No, I lost an electron!"  
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm  positive!"

---

 Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's
Novocain during root canal work?  He wanted to transcend dental 
medication.

---

 A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament 
victories.  After about an hour, the manager came out of the 
office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an 
open foyer."